Catharsis

Yesterday was an absolutely stellar day; the blues, aquas, greens all seemed to be more intense next to the white sand beach, palms flowing in the breeze. We snorkeled out by the pass with the manta rays and big fish, including some stealthy gray sharks and David even found an octopus. The water was unbelieveably clear and the calm filled our souls. In between the light, I continue to be overwhelmed by dark clouds which come in waves and by now, I am growing impatient with my inability to control my feelings of sadness, especially when I know damn well that Willie's spirit has always been so full of fun jokes to make us see the light of life. I also know that it is because I am so far away and removed from those I love, that the process of letting go will take some time. I have always been fortunate to be by the side of my loved ones when they were going through the dying process, and I know that it makes the reality easier in some ways. So, as I pick myself up, I am thankful for the energy to make each moment of the day meaningful in some way. Throughout my life, Willie has inspired all of us to laugh and see the lighter side of life, as well as to do something special with the life we have. His thirst for knowledge propelled him to always learn from the best and the brightest, and he loved interesting discussions and new ideas. With a brilliant mind and his deep love for all of life and humanity, he seemed to always be involved in helping others to someway improve their quality of life. He served less fortunate people from the ship, Hope, during his younger days, he delivered hundreds of healthy children with warmth and love, and he spent much of his life working with El Camino Hospital to more efficiently serve the people of the community. Besides all of this, Willie nurtured the ranch he so loved and the family will always cherish his leadership and passion. I am such a lucky girl to have had such an amazing man in my life.